The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex
“Once people get comfortable with the idea of anal, many of them wonder why it too so long. The feelings are just unlike any other kind of sex!”
It’s time to talk about butt stuff.
While the majority of societies have slowly begun to accept anal sex for exactly what it is, a fun alternative way to enjoy your body, in many places all over the world there are still plenty of people who look at it with a high level of disdain. Even worse, sometimes anal sex can even be frowned upon by those around us!
To those of us who regularly enjoy it, this can be infuriating. Anal sex is no stranger than vaginal sex, and can be even more enjoyable!
So we decided to put together a definitive guide for everyone. Knowledge is power after all.
You’ll find answers to some of the questions you’ve always heard asked, like:
Does anal sex hurt?
Can anal sex cause butt cancer?
Does anal sex make men gay?
Will anal sex make you poop everywhere?
Can things get stuck in my butt?
And many more.
Along the way you’ll also find answers to some questions you might never have asked, like:
How can you have an anal only orgasm?
Why does stimulating the prostate feel so good?
So next time your friend, coworker, or random passerby looks at you funny for mentioning anal sex, save yourself some time and point them right here. Before you know it they’ll be giving you tips on how to enjoy it even more!
Part One: The rear exit is an entrance too…
So we all know what butts are for. There’s no point beating around the bush here. Unfortunately the regular function of our nether regions are a little too gross for some people. So let’s get this out of the way right at the beginning.
There will probably be poop.
Most of the time when you’re putting things into your butt, they’ll be going into your rectum. This is essentially a holding area for all your poop. As soon as your body has a package ready for delivery, it’ll make its way into your rectum and wait for you to head to the bathroom.
Of course, you can head to the bathroom before you plan on having anal sex, and in most cases this will be sufficient to clear yourself out and avoid most of the poop. If that’s not reassuring enough for you, you can also take a shower to make extra sure the area is clean. For the biggest germaphobes out there, you can even pick up a douching or enema kit to wash your rectum out.
Whatever you choose though, just keep in mind that you might find poop, it’s not a big deal, and you can wash yourself off once your finished. There’s no need for to laugh or cry. We’re all grownups.
While we’re dealing with common concerns, let’s talk about pain.
Many, many people all around the world will never try anal sex simply because they think it will hurt. I’m not going to lie to you. It might.
The key word there is might. But sometimes, penis in vagina sex can hurt too. Whether it’s a lack of lubrication (natural or otherwise), a size issue, or simply being too rough. There are all kinds of reasons for vaginal sex to hurt. Luckily for the human race, that doesn’t stop us doing it though.
It’s exactly the same deal with anal sex. When you do it in the right conditions, there won’t be any pain at all. So how do we make sure that we have the right conditions every time? With these simple steps:
Relax: One of the most common reasons people find anal sex painful is because they aren’t relaxed enough. They become tense which in turn causes the muscles in their butt to become tense. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried forcing your body to do something when your muscles are tense, but it’s an easy way to hurt yourself.
You can take whatever steps you need to relax, like meditation, massages, music, candles, baths. Just do what you need to do to make sure that you’re in the right state of mind.
Lubricate: Another key step in anal sex is lubrication. And I don’t just mean saliva guys! Whenever you’re having anal sex you’re going to want to purchase some proper, quality lubrication. Which type you buy will depend on exactly what kind of anal play you want to try, as some lubricants can’t be used with certain sex toys and others contain ingredients that some people find irritating.
Once you’ve chosen your lubricant, make sure to use loads. I really mean it. You can never have too much lubricant for anal, but not having enough is a surefire way to feel it in the morning.
Take your time: Another common mistake people make with anal sex is rushing things. Particularly in the beginning, your body needs time to adjust to the new feelings and sensations you’ll experience. Over time you might be able to speed things up gradually, but it’s much better to take things slowly than to rush.
Communicate: If you’re trying things out solo then this isn’t really a consideration, but if you’re trying anal with a partner then you need to be on the same page. You can lay things out before you start so you both know exactly what you’re expecting from the experience.
The communication doesn’t end there though! Throughout the whole experience you should be talking to each other, and if either of you feels like you need to stop for any reason then you should just say. It takes a lot of trust to try something new, so it’s important to respect the communication your partner gives you.
The final common concern we hear all the time when it comes to anal sex is one exclusive to men. Does it make you gay? I’m not going to spend too long on this, but we can conclusively, 100% tell you that trying anal sex will not make you gay.
We can go over and over this for hours, but what you enjoy doing and who you enjoy doing it with are two completely different things.
Now that we’ve dispelled some of the myths and concerns you might have about anal sex, maybe we should talk about why you’d want to do it in the first place.
What’s So Good About Anal Sex?
Next up on the list of things you probably want to know about anal sex, why bother? After all, we’ve had penis in vagina sex all our lives, we can masturbate whenever we want, why do we want to do something that we aren’t completely comfortable with instead?
Well, it can be amazing! Seriously, once people get comfortable with the idea of anal, many of them wonder why it too so long. The feelings are just unlike any other kind of sex! This isn’t the basic or simple guide to anal sex though. This is the ultimate guide, so let’s talk in detail about why anal sex is so good.
What’s in your butt?
If the encouraging words of half the internet haven’t been enough to convince you, you’re probably going to need some more info. For that, we’re going to need to take a deep dive into our anuses. (It’s just too easy to make jokes in this one!) Let’s start with a little anatomy lesson.
There are tons of parts that make up the human butt, way more than we need to be interested in. For the purpose of anal sex though, there are a few specific areas we need to look at. These are:
The anus: Gateway to the butt.
The sphincter: The part of the butt that lets you control when you poop.
The rectum: Essentially a large cavern. This is where poop gets stored before you get rid of it, and also the area where penises or sex toys will mainly be going.
The prostate: A part of the body only found in men. The prostate can be stimulated sexually, and can produce some incredibly orgasms for men.
The colon: The end of your digestive system and the start of your butt. While it is rarely stimulated in a sexual manner some people do enjoy penetration that reaches this deep.
Starfish of the Nether Regions: The Anus
The first place you’re going to notice any kind of anal stimulation is obviously the anus. Even if you don’t want to get into anal penetration, the anus is a great body part to explore and experiment with. Stroking with fingers and even licking are fairly commonplace in a lot of relationships.
A couple of reasons contribute to this. To start with, there are an immense amount of nerve endings found in the anus. Some even claim that there are more in the anus than the vagina. It’s a hard claim to verify though, and even after significant research I couldn’t get a definitive answer. What we do know though, is that the nerve endings in the anus are some of the densest found throughout the human body.
Why does that matter?
Well stimulating this many nerves at once can simply feel amazing! That’s not all though. Both men and women can feel indirect stimulation of their sexual organs while their anus is stimulated. Women in particular stand to gain more enjoyment, as some of the internal parts of the clitoris are linked to parts of the anus.
Gripping Tightly: The Sphincter
Once you make it through the anus and take your first steps into penetration, you’ll quickly notice some resistance. Your sphincter is what causes this, and it’s a small ring of muscle which helps to control the exit of poop from your body.
When you’re starting to penetrate your anus, the sphincter can be a bit of an obstacle due to the tightness of the muscles, so this is where it’s important to stay relaxed and calm.
Just like the anus, the sphincter is densely packed with nerve endings, so it can feel just as good to stimulate. There are even sex toys specifically designed to capitalise on this, such as anal beads. Anal beads force your sphincter open just like any other penetration, but they give it an opportunity to close between each bead, really amplifying the stimulation.
Another interesting tidbit that a lot of people don’t know is that there are actually two sphincters in your anus. An inner and an outer. They are relatively similar in function when it comes to anal sex, so double the sphincter means double the fun!
Into the Depths: The Rectum
Once we break through our inner sphincter, we reach our first moment of respite in the anal journey. The rectum is a much larger, more open space, reaching as much as nine inches in some people.
Things are still very sensitive here, but the deeper you go the less it becomes about touch and the more it becomes about pressure. Once you reach the final third of the rectum, the only thing you’ll really be feeling is the pressure.
Here is where some of the other parts of the body come into play much more. In women, objects inside the rectum will push up against the back wall of the vagina, making the vaginal canal feel much smaller and tighter. This can make vaginal penetration much more intense, and some people even like to take it as far as double penetration (being penetrated both vaginally and anally at the same time).
Parts of the rectum are also much more closely connected with some of the internal parts of the vagina, such as the inner clitoris, so you can feel even more stimulation as you move deeper.
In men, pressure in the rectum can gently stimulate the inner portions of the penis. However the real MVP here is the prostate gland. Once you reach about two or three inches to the male rectum, you’ll only be separated from the gland by a relatively thin wall. This means you can almost directly stimulate the prostate, and is one of the main reasons for men to enjoy anal penetration so much.
The Final Frontier: The Colon
Honestly there isn’t a huge amount to say about the colon. The vast majority of you will never want to go that far with your anal penetration. It’s much riskier and comparatively less enjoyable than just penetrating the rectum. There’s also a slight curve at this point, so even getting something around the bend can be very challenging.
If it’s something you want to try then by all means do it, but even finding information on colon penetration is difficult. All we’ll say on the subject is be extremely careful, consult your doctor if you have any worries, and if you feel any pain stop immediately. Penetrating your colon can be extremely painful and even life threatening.
Bonus Round: The Prostate
While we’re talking anatomy, I should probably talk a little about the male prostate gland. This little gem is a hidden wonder, and many men go their entire lives without knowing the joy it can bring. Yes, this is the same prostate that a doctor might poke around at as you get a bit older.
Just as with its existence, a lot of men also don’t really know what the prostate does. Its primary function is to produce a milky white fluid that makes up a portion of a man’s semen. This fluid is then mixed with semen and forced out of the prostate and through the urethra via the ejaculatory ducts. It also functions as a valve to stop the fluids coming from your bladder getting mixed up with the fluids coming from your testicles, similar to how the muscles in the throat separate breath and fluids into different tubes.
Now I’m sure all men will know the satisfaction that comes along with the throbbing, pulsing action of ejaculation. This sensation is largely caused by the prostates pumping action during orgasm. But what if I told you this feeling could be achieved without even touching your penis?
That’s right, men are able to have unique orgasms solely by stimulating the prostate gland. It can take a lot of practise to pull this off, and some men might give up before they ever manage it. For those that put in the time though, prostate stimulation can provide some of the most intense and enjoyable orgasms a man can have, and even multiple orgasms.
When it comes to anal sex, prostate stimulation can simply be an added side effect of the penetration you enjoy, making something already quite good that little bit better. For some men though, prostate stimulation becomes the primary aim during anal sex.
If this is the case, you can even buy a prostate massager. Essentially a type of butt plug, a prostate massager is inserted into the anus, and has a little curve to apply the perfect amount of pressure to the gland.
I Want to Have Anal Sex, What Next?
Whether you’ve been convinced by the mountains of information we’ve given you at this point, or you came here already decided that you were going to give it a go, you might be wondering what’s next. If you’re planning to explore solo then you can skip straight ahead to find out the best way to enjoy anal sex. If you’re going to be doing it with a partner though, there’s going to need to be a little chat.
It doesn’t matter how comfortable you and your partner are, or how much you love each other, a surprise rear entry is going to put someone in the doghouse. No matter how comfortable you think you and your partner are, or how much you think you love each other, the best thing to do is to just have a frank and honest conversation.
Lay out what you want to get from the experience, and what you think they might enjoy about it too. If they aren’t into it, don’t push the matter. You have to respect their decision.
Taking the Plunge: Your First Anal Experience
We’re finally here. Everyone is willing and excited. The body parts and sex toys are standing ready. Shall we just dive right in?
No. No, no, no, no no. As excited as you are, it’s never a great idea to rush things. We touched on the steps near the start of this article, but it’s important to take your time.
The best way to warm up is with whatever foreplay you enjoy the most. Completely ignore your butt for the time being. Just focus on getting yourself turned on and enjoying yourself.
When your hot under the collar and feel ready to start, grab the lube and get everything nice and slippery. You’re going to want to just start with a little massage of the anus, followed by inserting just one finger. Place the pad of your finger onto your anus and gently push, much like you would a doorbell. If you’re aroused enough and have used enough lube, before long the tip of your finger should slide in quite easily.
Your anus is a muscle which takes time to adjust to the new feelings, so once you’ve got the tip of your finger in, take a little rest. When you feel ready, push in a little more, then rest again. Take as long as you need until the whole finger is inside your body.
At this point it’s up to you how to continue. You can experiment with the single finger, feeling around for pleasurable sensations. If your aim is to get a penis or sex toy into your butt though, it’s likely to be much larger. Work your way up in stages, adding one finger at a time. Eventually you’ll reach a point where your penis or sex toy will only be a little jump up from what is already inside, so getting it in shouldn’t be too difficult.
If you are planning on using a sex toy, then make sure it has a flared base! Although the traditional function of the butt is to force thing out of your body, when you put things inside it can actually pull them further in. The base is the only thing stopping your toy from completely disappearing into your body!
Some Final Notes
Beyond this point, your anal exploration is largely down to you! You might want to experiment with different toys, different speeds, or even different depths. As long as you follow these basic principles, you should be fine.
One important thing to point out is if you feel any pain at any point, stop! Pain is our body’s natural way to tell us that something is wrong, so attempting to push through the pain is an easy way to cause yourself some harm. Your butt isn’t going anywhere, so take a break, and come back to it a bit later.
"if you feel any pain at any point, stop! Pain is our body’s natural way to tell us that something is wrong, so attempting to push through the pain is an easy way to cause yourself some harm."
So there you have it! Everything we think you need to know about anal sex. Hopefully we’ve opened your eyes to a whole new world of pleasure that your eager to explore. Even if we haven’t, at least now you know what to expect, so maybe one day you’ll come back to it and give anal a go.