Anal Sex: A Man's Guide to Bottoming

Posted by Dave Lee on

Because anal sex is one of the last taboos and is often considered a forbidden activity, this has only made the act more appealing to a large number of couples. Contrary to what many people believe, anal sex is enjoyed by both men and women of various genders and sexual orientations, so it is truly not just a “gay” activity anymore.

We were not convinced, at first, either, so we did our digging and research. And guess what we found out — the number of hetero men engaged in anal sex is higher than expected. 

Moreover, men who have tried anal admit that they reach orgasm during anal intercourse.

Would you like to know how to have anal sex? We'll give you bottoming tips and a guide to making your first-time bottoming experience and the succeeding ones smooth and pleasurable.

Is Receiving Anal Sex Gay?

We've said it once, and we'll say it again—BUTT STUFF isn't just for gays, and getting yourself penetrated anally doesn't make a guy gay. Straight and gay men enjoy anal sex because they have the same butt anatomy. In addition, inside their anus are sensitive nerve endings, allowing them to experience sexual bliss when stimulated through their backdoor.

What else is inside their butt? A prostate, of course! Stimulating this walnut-shaped gland will bring about overwhelming bliss. It's probably why anal sex has become so popular among men. When the prostate gland is massaged, it results in an orgasm that pulses throughout the body.

Besides increasing sexual pleasure, there's some evidence that prostatic massage may provide a number of health benefits. For example, gentle pressure applied on the gland can help relieve prostatitis as doing so can release fluid build-up. Some men with ED have also claimed that stimulating their version of the G-spot gives them an erection and enables them to ejaculate.

There are also many types of anal sexual activity, from anal massage to anal fingering to full blown anal sex! This means that whatever you're looking for in the anal category, you can always find something that will make your a-hole thrilled and filled!

Many men start with massage or fingering, then build their way up to anal sex, which is a great idea because the anal muscles always start tight. A word of advice, and we can't emphasize this enough: You need time to loosen your sphincters a little bit before you let anyone put his penis or an object into it.

Many men start out with massage or fingering, then build their way up to anal sex, which is actually a great idea because anal muscles always start out tight, and you simply need time to loosen them up a little bit before you try having this type of sex.

Butt fun is for everyone. Even if a straight guy doesn't go all the way with anal sex, he can still greatly enjoy other other types of anal stimulation. Try combining genital and anal stimulation. Believe us---it's sinfully gratifying! This is one good reason anal sexual activity is no longer just for gays.

Do Gay Men Have to Have Anal Sex?

When it comes to getting to first, second, or third base, the process is a little different for gay men than it is for straight men. However, this doesn’t mean that gay men don’t enjoy varied sexual activities in the bedroom. In fact, gay men enjoy both penetrative and non-penetrative sexual activities, which include the following.

One of the biggest advantages of oral sex is that you can achieve orgasm through this type of activity, so if you’re not interested in penetrative sexual activity, oral sex is something you may want to try.

Gay men also participate in mutual masturbation, and because the genitals are stimulated during this type of activity, again, both partners can achieve orgasm. Mutual masturbation usually involves holding onto the shaft and rubbing your hands up and down. It is especially effective when you apply lube because it allows for more rubbing and massaging without irritating or chafing the shaft.

Frottage is yet another type of activity enjoyed by gay couples. This activity involves rubbing the genitals together and stimulating both penises simultaneously. Docking involves one man inserting his penis into the other man’s foreskin, but this and frottage are considered non-penetrative sexual activities for men.

There are many reasons why some gay men may want to avoid anal sex in the beginning, and the most common reason is that they haven’t loosened up the anal muscles yet and are, therefore, afraid of the pain.

All anal sexual activities should be taken slowly until those muscles are stretched out a little bit because this is the only way for the receiver – or the “bottom” person – to experience utmost comfort and delightful sensations while having sex.

Physically and Mentally Preparing to Bottom

Just like genital intercourse, anal sex requires that you prepare yourself mentally and physically before you begin. This is because without being aroused, all types of sexual activity can be painful or uncomfortable. This is especially true for anal sex.

One of the things couples need to talk about is what each partner will and will not be willing to do once the activity begins. Foreplay should be non-negotiable, so you and your partner should discuss some DOs and DON'Ts to ensure nothing goes wrong once you're sweaty and super intimate.

Again, this can only happen if you talk openly about everything before beginning any type of anal sexual activity. Then, when you prepare your partner for anal sex, you can give him a hand job and even apply some anal fingering and anal massage techniques before doing the dirty deed.

Anything the two of you can do to get each other turned on and horny will help both of you prepare mentally for anal sex, and these things go a long way in helping you to make the absolute most out of your sexual encounter.

Bottoming for the first time can make you anxious. Hence, preparing your bum for fun is necessary. The main thing to remember is that the anal muscles are naturally tight at first, so your main job at that point is to loosen them up and stretch them out slowly over time.

You can do this in several ways, but most people start with a little anal fingering and go from there. If you are interested in receiving anal sex, your only option is to make sure that area of the body is as loose as it can get.

After placing lube on your fingers and maybe even using a glove, you can explore the anal area slowly without applying too much pressure initially. Once your anus feels comfortable having fingers inserted into it, you can move up to a butt plug.

Once comfortable using a butt plug, you can move to other sex toys. The good thing about anal sex toys is that they come in different sizes, shapes, and even materials, so you can start with something small and slender butt plugs and work your way up to some bigger butt plugs.

Lubrication for Anal Sex

The importance of this stage of the process cannot be overstated. The anus doesn't self-lubricate as the vagina does, so even if you've had anal sex for quite a while, it is still crucial that you use a lot of lube for the process every single time.

If you're not in a monogamous relationship, using a condom is highly recommended. A works much better with lubrication, but even if you choose not to use a condom, the lube part is still necessary.

You can choose water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, and even hybrid lubes. All of these will do a great job of keeping the anus well lubricated, so it is up to you which one to use.

The water-based type of lube washes off from pajamas and bedsheets easily, mainly because it is quickly absorbed, but you'll likely have to reapply it more than once during your anal sesh.

Silicone-based lube, which is thick and has a gel-like consistency, isn't easily removed from bedsheets and clothing. However, it lasts longer than water-based lubes and will only have to be reapplied less often.

Most people do not use oil-based lubes for anal activity because of the greasy feel and consistency. Try hybrid lubes instead. They are gaining in popularity because they are usually a combination of some of your favorite types of lubes.

Suppose you prefer a more natural approach to lubricants. In that case, you can use something such as coconut oil, which has a good consistency and works great as a lubricant for any anal sexual activity.

Again, the important thing to remember is that lubes for anal sex are a must, regardless of how long you've been participating in this type of activity. So if you're warming up by using a sex toy, you should naturally pay attention to the kind of lube recommended by the manufacturer. Otherwise, you can experiment with different types of lube until you find the one that best suits your needs. Anal sex will always be a bit uncomfortable until you've stretched out the anal muscles and you use a lot of lube, which applies whether you're a newbie or an old pro at it.

Warming up Your Anus

If you’ve never before been the receiver in the anal sex act, you’ll want to warm up the anus a bit first. This should include anal fingering and massage, but before you start with any of that type of activity, you should prepare the anus by making sure it is clean.

Always start by taking a shower or bath, then clean the anal area with an alcohol-free baby wipe. Or, you can use use an enema or anal douche to reduce the likelihood of messy anal play.

Many people are concerned that they will have a bowel movement while at it, but this is due to the feeling of fullness you experience when something is inserted into your rectum.

Once you start having sex anally, that feeling of fullness usually dissipates. However, it still makes most bottoms feel much better knowing they are clean internally before they begin the sexual act.

Feeling confident is vital before you start having anal sex, which is why preparing the anus is so important. When you get yourself thoroughly clean, practice techniques that help you stretch out the anal muscles and use a lot of lube the entire time you're having sex. Your bottoming should be a good one.

The anus also won't become too stretched out during your anal play because once they stretch out to a certain point, they stop and can stretch no further. Therefore, there is no need to worry about the anal muscles becoming too loose.

Stroking the Shaft: Masturbating While Receiving

If you masturbate while receiving anal sex, you will climax much quicker. Many men, especially after they become more experienced in anal sex, will orgasm even without stimulation of the genitals. Still, it feels better when the anus and penis are stimulated at the same time.

Fortunately, men of all sexual orientations love to masturbate, which is usually a welcome addition to the sex act.

With both penis and anal stimulation, it is more erotic and effective to start slowly and move up to a faster speed once you feel more excited. You can use lube on the penis just like you do the anus, making your stroking more delightfully stimulating.

Applying a generous amount of lubrication also reduces the chances of any chafing or irritation of the genitals because, let's face it, that can kill the mood faster than almost anything else.

Creating an erotic and sensual feeling for both the anus and the genital area simultaneously is a fantastic experience. It can also result in some mind-blowing, toe-curling orgasms. Also, it allows the receiver to feel more in control than if he was only receiving and nothing else.

Masturbating and receiving anal sex simultaneously guarantees some of the best sex you may ever have. The primary reason for doing this is that it brings you to pleasure paradise much quicker and easier.

Best Positions for Penetrating a Man

We've compiled the hottest positions for the best anal experience possible. If you and your partner love to explore and experiment, go ahead and try all these and choose your favorite:

  • Instead of getting up on all fours, the bottom lies down with legs and arms stretched out, and the giver inserts his penis into the anus while lying on top of the receiver. In this position, both the giver and receiver lie face down.
  • The "turtle" position is similar to the doggie-style position, except the receiver also lays his chest and face on the bed. In other words, instead of getting down on all fours, he only gets "down" on his two legs
  • Both partners can stand up, and the giver inserts his penis from behind while they both continue to stand.
  • The receiver can lean over a table or other piece of furniture face down while the giver gets behind him and enters him that way.
  • Some receivers like to place their hands on the wall for support and bend at the knees – in other words, squat – while the giver enters him from behind while he's in this position. This one is a little tough on the knees, but it is worth a shot if you have a strong pair.
  • In the "see-saw" position, the giver sits on the floor with his legs stretched out in front of him and puts his hands behind him for support. The receiver sits on top of him, facing him, and receives the penis while in this position.
  • The giver can lie down on his back, and the receiver can lie on top of him, on his back, and receive the penis while in this position. Both partners are in a lying-down position.
  • If the top sits in a chair, the bottom can sit on his lap, facing the giver's direction, and receive the penis this way. In this position, the partners do not face each other.
  • The receiver can lay across an exercise ball face down, and the giver can insert the penis this way. It's a very comfortable anal sex position, thanks to the exercise ball.
  • Spooning is another anal sex position, and it involves lying in bed next to each other, facing the same direction, and having anal intercourse this way.
  • The bottom can lie on his back, stretch his legs out, and bend them until the feet reach his head and face. Then, the giver can insert his penis while on top.

As you can see, we've given you tips and tricks on how to enjoy anal sex. Once you do, you'll eventually learn how to be a good bottom, and you can even create some positions of your own because there is no such thing as getting too creative in the bedroom.

Tips to Bottom Safely

We've mentioned earlier about lube, and we'll say it again—LUBE UP! Make everything slick and smooth to do your butt a favor.

Your ass, your rules. Communicate with your partner before, during, and after the deed. If something starts to feel uncomfortable and painful, tell your partner immediately. Following these tips will make bottoming and anal sex safe and enjoyable.

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